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This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

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March 9, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Confidence!

(Adapted from Sunday message, March 5, 2023)

Confidence. I always picture Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music, dancing her way down the road to introduce herself as the Von Trapp family’s new governess. “I have confidence in confidence alone. Besides, which you see I have confidence in me!” she sings jauntily.

It doesn’t last long when faced with 7 children, a captain with a dog whistle, and a Nazi butler. Oh, and the frog. I can’t forget the frog in her pocket. Confidence is a fragile flower.

There’s another, far more durable confidence that comes with faith in Christ, when we know and trust the essential, inescapable, and most beautiful truth that God the Father sacrificed Jesus the Son to reconcile us to Himself.

Not too long ago, my daughter was on her way to New Mexico for a service learning trip with her college. She was studying water and water filtration systems. Two days into the trip, she came down with a nasty case of COVID. Into isolation, she went.

There was a point in time, later in the week, when I was not at all convinced that there was anyone in New Mexico looking out for her on the campus where she was staying, especially when the rest of her group was supposed to take off overnight for the Grand Canyon. I did not want her there by herself with her oxygen levels unsteady.

I called and started quizzing her. Who’s going to be there? What are their names? How close will they be? “So help me,” I muttered, ‘if they leave you alone there on the campus with a pile of pop tarts outside your door, there are a few choice phone calls I’m going to be placing to your college administration…” You get the idea. Crazy mama was coming out.

My daughter got quiet for a moment and told me she was sending me a screenshot.

It was from a woman named Eryn, a local woman who’d driven her to the hospital on Wednesday afternoon.

The texts from Eryn began, “You won’t be alone.” There was a long description of where she’d be and when, and finally, at the bottom of the text, “I’m here for you!” Exclamation point.

Okay. Crazy mama could breathe again.

I think that’s pretty close to the message God is trying to get through our thick heads in Romans 8:38-39 when Paul writes, “I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

You won’t be alone, God is saying. I’m here for you!

With that knowledge, with that reassurance, really, is there anything we can’t do? The answer, friends, is no. Exclamation point.

 

Courage, Jesus Christ, Parenting Tagged: Confidence, COVID, motherhood


February 8, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Sometimes Marriage Stinks. Until It Doesn’t.

(This is the second in an unintended mini-series on marriage. My apologies to the single folks. Here goes….)

Former First Lady Michelle Obama caught our attention at the end of 2022 with an interview in which she admitted that her marriage was terrible for a period of time. 

Her comment:

“People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband,” she said. “And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.” (here)

Friends, this is not news. Marriage is hard. Marriage is really hard when the kids are young and need us the most. Work? Extended family? A few forgiving friendships? All the endless tasks of parenthood and homemaking? Me time? Ha!

My daughter was still in diapers when I attended a clergy retreat in southern Illinois. Well, it wasn’t exactly a retreat for me. The rest of the clergy were staying in a lovely B&B while I commuted an hour and half each way from home so I could still be mom. 

I said as much over lunch to one of my colleagues, who shook his head. “I’m so glad those days are over,” he reflected. “It’s so nice not to have to hate my wife anymore.”

Huh?

He explained. “We were always in competition. For a little extra time. A little less work. A little less responsibility. We hated each other for a while,” he kept going. “We don’t anymore.” 

I remember wondering when “anymore” would happen.  [Read more…]

Marriage, Parenting, Patience Tagged: marriage, Michelle Obama, motherhood


January 17, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Unequally active: a word of wisdom for couples

What follows is a humble word of wisdom, as I survey my own and other churches of like and larger size.

It’s a word of wisdom for couples.

The apostle Paul has a lot to say about a lot of things, and one of those things is marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7, he addresses married couples, exhorting them to stay sexually active. Believers married to unbelievers are encouraged to stay married, unless the unbeliever leaves, because, who knows? The unbeliever might be saved by the spouse. Later in 2 Corinthians, though, in instructions traditionally understood to describe marriage, he famously encourages, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

But, it’s not these “unequally yoked” partners in whom I see the most common strain. Most couples I’ve known would both describe themselves as believers. They’ve both stood before the church and professed their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. Both are typically baptized.

The challenge comes for these couples in figuring out exactly what that means for each of them and what they can expect of each other.

Wifey grew up in a marginally churched family. Christmas and Easter are sufficient with an occasional appearance when the kids are singing, right? But Hubby wants to go more often where he sees his friends and feels closer to Christ. Wifey wants Sunday morning to get the house clean. Hubby signed up to usher. Wifey wants to sleep in. Hubby wakes up by 6 a.m. anyway, so why not go?

Unequally yoked? Maybe, but probably not. Unequally active? You betcha, and it puts strain on the marriage and frustrates both partners.

Here’s my simple word of wisdom: Normalize conversations with your spouse about your commitment to the church. 

  • Talk through what you expect and why you expect it.
  • Be honest about the frustrations.
  • Make it okay (really okay) for one spouse to go without the other.
  • Compromise, make a plan, and stick to it.

A dear woman I know attended worship most Sunday mornings by herself for years. Was she happy about it? No, but she and her husband had talked it through. There were no false expectations. When her husband started attending later in life, the pastor (not me) nearly fell over in the pulpit, but managed to keep a straight face. No one gasped (not audibly at least), so he came back. And he kept coming back. He would not have come back if he’d been guilt tripped by either his wife or the congregation. She could not have kept coming without him if he’d not understood her needs. Mercy must abound on all sides.

“Follow my example,” wrote Paul, “as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).  Follow the example of this couple, I suggest, as they (finally…together) followed the example of Christ.

Church, Discipleship, Marriage Tagged: Active, church, marriage


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This is the day that
the Lord has made;
let us rejoice
and be glad in it.

– Psalm 118:24
Rev. Dr. MJ Romano

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Bible Verse of the Day

For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
Romans 5:19
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LaJunta Presbyterian Church

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