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January 17, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Unequally active: a word of wisdom for couples

What follows is a humble word of wisdom, as I survey my own and other churches of like and larger size.

It’s a word of wisdom for couples.

The apostle Paul has a lot to say about a lot of things, and one of those things is marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7, he addresses married couples, exhorting them to stay sexually active. Believers married to unbelievers are encouraged to stay married, unless the unbeliever leaves, because, who knows? The unbeliever might be saved by the spouse. Later in 2 Corinthians, though, in instructions traditionally understood to describe marriage, he famously encourages, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

But, it’s not these “unequally yoked” partners in whom I see the most common strain. Most couples I’ve known would both describe themselves as believers. They’ve both stood before the church and professed their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. Both are typically baptized.

The challenge comes for these couples in figuring out exactly what that means for each of them and what they can expect of each other.

Wifey grew up in a marginally churched family. Christmas and Easter are sufficient with an occasional appearance when the kids are singing, right? But Hubby wants to go more often where he sees his friends and feels closer to Christ. Wifey wants Sunday morning to get the house clean. Hubby signed up to usher. Wifey wants to sleep in. Hubby wakes up by 6 a.m. anyway, so why not go?

Unequally yoked? Maybe, but probably not. Unequally active? You betcha, and it puts strain on the marriage and frustrates both partners.

Here’s my simple word of wisdom: Normalize conversations with your spouse about your commitment to the church.

Talk through what you expect and why you expect it.
Be honest about the frustrations.
Make it okay (really okay) for one spouse to go without the other.
Compromise, make a plan, and stick to it.

A dear woman I know attended worship most Sunday mornings by herself for years. Was she happy about it? No, but she and her husband had talked it through. There were no false expectations. When her husband started attending later in life, the pastor (not me) nearly fell over in the pulpit, but managed to keep a straight face. No one gasped (not audibly at least), so he came back. And he kept coming back. He would not have come back if he’d been guilt tripped by either his wife or the congregation. She could not have kept coming without him if he’d not understood her needs. Mercy must abound on all sides.

“Follow my example,” wrote Paul, “as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Follow the example of this couple, I suggest, as they (finally…together) followed the example of Christ.

December 9, 2020 | Leave a Comment

Love or freedom? Lessons on in-person worship from the meateaters of Corinth

Buried deep in the New Testament is a story of Christians being called to choose between love and freedom. In the city of Corinth, meat was being sold that had been sacrificed to idols. By all accounts, it was good meat and cheap, so Christians were heading to the bbq.

Beginning in 1 Corinthians 8:1, we find a chronicle of Paul’s response to the meateaters:

“We all possess knowledge,” the meateaters said.

But knowledge puffs up while love builds up, Paul responds (8:1).

“An idol is nothing at all in the world,” they kept on, “There is no God but one” (8:4).

You’re correct, Paul makes clear, “But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat sacrificial food, they think of it as having been sacrificed to a God, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled” (8:7).

You see, love takes precedence over freedom. Paul concludes, “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak” (8:9)

This week, in response to a decision of the Supreme Court, the State of Colorado announced that it was dropping capacity restrictions on indoor worship attendance in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic (https://www.denverpost.com/2020/12/08/colorado-churches-covid-restrictdions/). The First Amendment, after all, restricts the government from making any law which prohibits the free exercise of religion.

Churches have been told what we can do. Now, we consider what we should do. We have a right to worship in person. Now, how do we exercise that right in ways that love our neighbors? The Constitution, after all, is not our final authority.

Different churches will come to different conclusions based on their convictions about the meaning and purpose of worship (the sacraments in particular). Those conclusions will depend upon the conditions in their community: the prevalence of community spread, stress on first responders and medical staff, and the particular members of the congregation and their needs.

John Inazu teaches Law and Religion at Washington University in St. Louis, and he put it this way: “Of course, questions of law and governmental policy speak only to what houses of worship may do, not what they should do. At a time when much of the country is sick and suffering and much of the country is partying and dining, many houses of worship continue to comply voluntarily even when orders have exempted them. That’s a tangible sign of loving one’s neighbor, even at great cost” (https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2020/november/scotus-gets-it-right-religious-liberty-church-is-essential.html).

Right now, in our community, our case count continues to climb, seemingly unabated. Our hospital is stressed (https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/12/09/944379919/new-data-reveal-which-hospitals-are-dangerously-full-is-yours), even having to take the extraordinary step of ceasing COVID testing because of a staffing shortages (https://www.lajuntatribunedemocrat.com/story/news/2020/12/08/colorado-backs-off-worship-service-limits-due-covid-19/6495233002/). Our first responders have been stretched thin. While we’ve thankfully had no congregational exposure take place in worship, many of our own church family have been or are sick or quarantined even now.

Can we worship in person? Yes, of course, we can. Should we? That’s another question completely, and the leadership of this church prayerfully determined that the answer—for now—is no. In such an environment, we are not loving ourselves, each other, or our neighbors well by creating yet another gathering space in which transmission can occur. Other churches in our community are coming to other conclusions. It’s their right to do so, and we will support them with our prayers.

Some will strongly disagree with this decision. We pray that those who disagree will seek out myself or one of our elders or ministry staff for discussion and prayer. We’ve disagreed before, and we’ll disagree again. Let this not be the decision that divides us.

The Christ Child was born in Bethlehem, in a world just as broken and hurting as ours. He brought peace. May that peace be ours today and always.

March 17, 2020 | 1 Comment

I binge-watched worship

This past Sunday morning, I spent time binge-watching church. Yep, church. Not The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez or Love is Blind (never!). I binge watched church. I’d already recorded our service here in La Junta, after all, and here was my chance to see a bunch of my colleagues in action.

I loved it. All the music, all the voices, all the styles. I watched worship happening in Texas, and Pennsylvania, and here in Colorado (twice). There was lots of talk of faith over fear, given the COVID-19 situation. There was a little bit of fumbling. I mean, really, who’s comfortable leading worship in front of an empty sanctuary? One preacher showed pictures of his recent mission trip. Another clearly hadn’t planned to preach and simply offered his thoughts on God’s goodness. Another preached on Nathaniel (brilliant!) and another on…I can’t actually remember what scripture the last one preached on. I was getting a little foggy by then.

Whatever the singers sang, whatever the preachers preached, I heard one thing over and over: God sees us. In different ways, at different times, the statement was there in all four services, and it struck me as incredibly moving.

Here’s my hunch:

I know God loves me. I know God is in control.

God seeing me, though, means I’m known. My fears, my doubts, my panic, my misgiving, my anger, my distrust. All of it is known by this God who continues to love me and heal me anyway.

Our particular community is far enough removed (for now) from the pandemic to be conflicted. What do we do? Anything? How soon? Why? I’ve heard everything from, “It’s a hoax,” to “We’ve got to close up everything for two months.” We’ll have more clarity as the days pass, but, for now, I’m comforted that God sees all of us in our confusion, and He’ll prepare us for whatever comes.

Bible Verse of the Day