Discipleship

September 17, 2024 | Leave a Comment

The PWDL

Let’s talk about the People We Don’t Like. Let’s call them the PWDL for short.

I’m not talking about enemies, i.e. people who have actually done harm to us or to people we love or to projects or work that matters to us. I’m talking about the PWDL. We just don’t like them. They don’t share our faith, or our politics, or our lifestyles, or our commitment to the Broncos. They’ve made decisions we don’t like: sending their kids out of district or consistently mowing their lawn on Saturday at 6 a.m. They innocently annoy us. They just are not our cup of tea.

“Not my cup of tea” is actually my favorite way to describe these folks. It goes light. It casts no judgment. It declares definitively that the “not liking” part of the situation is my responsibility only. The other cup of tea has done nothing wrong.

Instead of PWDL, perhaps I should call these folks about whom I’m writing today the NMCOTs. Or maybe not. Let’s stick to the PWDL.

The first thing worth noting about thy PWDL is that we can’t avoid them. Oh, we can try. The larger the community in which we live, the easier time we may have segregating ourselves. Here in our small town, though, it’s almost impossible. It’s tough to hide from someone when there are only two grocery stores in town and one post office. We work with them. We sit next to them in the bleachers during the JV volleyball game. We (gulp) go to church with them. [Read more…]

October 13, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Those jobs we never asked for

I had lots of ideas as a kid about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never, ever, in a million years would have thought I’d end up in ministry. Not ever. I wasn’t even raised in the church. It never even could have crossed my mind. But here I am. Or, should I say, “Here I am Lord” (1 Samuel 3)?

Our Old Testament friend Jonah did not set out to be a prophet. No, God made him a prophet when he spoke to him that day and told him, “Go. Go to Nineveh” (Jonah 1:1). So, he did what any reluctant prophet would do. He ran the other way. You may know the story from there: a storm came, a big fish swallowed him, the same big fish vomited him back out on the shore, and then finally Jonah did his job. He prophesied, and the people of Nineveh repented.

Nothing could have felt worse for Jonah. He’d been stuck doing something he didn’t want to do, and he was successful at it. It was all God’s fault.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that there are a few of you out there who have been there: In the place you’re supposed to be, doing what you genuinely believe God wants you to do, but not necessarily enjoying it.

God has the same question for us in these moments that he had for Jonah. “Is it right for you to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4). Still, God builds Jonah shelter, and it makes Jonah “very happy” (Jonah 4:6), but God’s not done. God has more to teach Jonah, so God withers the plant. [Read more…]

January 17, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Unequally active: a word of wisdom for couples

What follows is a humble word of wisdom, as I survey my own and other churches of like and larger size.

It’s a word of wisdom for couples.

The apostle Paul has a lot to say about a lot of things, and one of those things is marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7, he addresses married couples, exhorting them to stay sexually active. Believers married to unbelievers are encouraged to stay married, unless the unbeliever leaves, because, who knows? The unbeliever might be saved by the spouse. Later in 2 Corinthians, though, in instructions traditionally understood to describe marriage, he famously encourages, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

But, it’s not these “unequally yoked” partners in whom I see the most common strain. Most couples I’ve known would both describe themselves as believers. They’ve both stood before the church and professed their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. Both are typically baptized.

The challenge comes for these couples in figuring out exactly what that means for each of them and what they can expect of each other.

Wifey grew up in a marginally churched family. Christmas and Easter are sufficient with an occasional appearance when the kids are singing, right? But Hubby wants to go more often where he sees his friends and feels closer to Christ. Wifey wants Sunday morning to get the house clean. Hubby signed up to usher. Wifey wants to sleep in. Hubby wakes up by 6 a.m. anyway, so why not go?

Unequally yoked? Maybe, but probably not. Unequally active? You betcha, and it puts strain on the marriage and frustrates both partners.

Here’s my simple word of wisdom: Normalize conversations with your spouse about your commitment to the church.

Talk through what you expect and why you expect it.
Be honest about the frustrations.
Make it okay (really okay) for one spouse to go without the other.
Compromise, make a plan, and stick to it.

A dear woman I know attended worship most Sunday mornings by herself for years. Was she happy about it? No, but she and her husband had talked it through. There were no false expectations. When her husband started attending later in life, the pastor (not me) nearly fell over in the pulpit, but managed to keep a straight face. No one gasped (not audibly at least), so he came back. And he kept coming back. He would not have come back if he’d been guilt tripped by either his wife or the congregation. She could not have kept coming without him if he’d not understood her needs. Mercy must abound on all sides.

“Follow my example,” wrote Paul, “as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Follow the example of this couple, I suggest, as they (finally…together) followed the example of Christ.

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