Prairie Pastoral

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

  • Home
  • Bio
  • Books I’m Reading
  • Good Stuff

January 17, 2023 | Leave a Comment

Unequally active: a word of wisdom for couples

What follows is a humble word of wisdom, as I survey my own and other churches of like and larger size.

It’s a word of wisdom for couples.

The apostle Paul has a lot to say about a lot of things, and one of those things is marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7, he addresses married couples, exhorting them to stay sexually active. Believers married to unbelievers are encouraged to stay married, unless the unbeliever leaves, because, who knows? The unbeliever might be saved by the spouse. Later in 2 Corinthians, though, in instructions traditionally understood to describe marriage, he famously encourages, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

But, it’s not these “unequally yoked” partners in whom I see the most common strain. Most couples I’ve known would both describe themselves as believers. They’ve both stood before the church and professed their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. Both are typically baptized.

The challenge comes for these couples in figuring out exactly what that means for each of them and what they can expect of each other.

Wifey grew up in a marginally churched family. Christmas and Easter are sufficient with an occasional appearance when the kids are singing, right? But Hubby wants to go more often where he sees his friends and feels closer to Christ. Wifey wants Sunday morning to get the house clean. Hubby signed up to usher. Wifey wants to sleep in. Hubby wakes up by 6 a.m. anyway, so why not go?

Unequally yoked? Maybe, but probably not. Unequally active? You betcha, and it puts strain on the marriage and frustrates both partners.

Here’s my simple word of wisdom: Normalize conversations with your spouse about your commitment to the church. 

  • Talk through what you expect and why you expect it.
  • Be honest about the frustrations.
  • Make it okay (really okay) for one spouse to go without the other.
  • Compromise, make a plan, and stick to it.

A dear woman I know attended worship most Sunday mornings by herself for years. Was she happy about it? No, but she and her husband had talked it through. There were no false expectations. When her husband started attending later in life, the pastor (not me) nearly fell over in the pulpit, but managed to keep a straight face. No one gasped (not audibly at least), so he came back. And he kept coming back. He would not have come back if he’d been guilt tripped by either his wife or the congregation. She could not have kept coming without him if he’d not understood her needs. Mercy must abound on all sides.

“Follow my example,” wrote Paul, “as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).  Follow the example of this couple, I suggest, as they (finally…together) followed the example of Christ.

Church, Discipleship, Marriage Tagged: Active, church, marriage


July 27, 2022 | 1 Comment

As We Wait…

Minnie was a sweet lady I would visit at her home south of town. Frustrated with her lack of progress in physical therapy after a fall, she’d ball up her fist, scrunch up her face, and say in a stage whisper, 

“I want patience, and I want it now.”

Oh, Minnie, we are with you.

When will I get a break? When will it be my turn? When will it get easier? When? There are no easy answers to these questions.

I’ve read whole books about patience. I pray for it all the time. I know the answers I’m supposed to give to others and myself. “It’s all God’s timing,” or “Trust God. He will provide.” My answers are true, but they’re not necessarily what I want to hear when the good news is slow to come. [Read more…]

Discipleship, Parenting, Patience, Time, Trust Tagged: frustration, Patience, Teenagers, When?


June 6, 2022 | 2 Comments

My supposed-to sabbatical (Part One)

It’s Monday of the second full week of my supposed-to sabbatical. I was supposed to be in Ventura, CA, on the beach, for the month of June during my sabbatical. I was supposed to be walking dunes and eating at quaint cafes before taking long naps in the afternoon. I was supposed to be visiting with friends and colleagues. I was supposed to be reading and writing, free of the ordinary concerns of home and church.

But, several pulmonary embolisms later, my doctors have advised me that travel is questionable and staying by myself (however charming the accommodations) is out of the question. So, I’m trying to take sabbatical time at home. Ha! It turns out that my supposed-to sabbatical involves a whole lot of housework, because—you know—I’m home, so there are seven loads of laundry, [Read more…]

Discipleship, Expectation, Prayer Tagged: expectation, laundry, sabbatical


Next Page »
This is the day that
the Lord has made;
let us rejoice
and be glad in it.

– Psalm 118:24
Rev. Dr. MJ Romano

Categories

  • Adoption
  • Advent
  • Angels
  • Bible
  • Book of Hebrews
  • Christmas
  • Church
  • Confession
  • Conscience
  • Courage
  • Criticism
  • Death
  • Deception
  • Discipleship
  • Evangelism
  • Expectation
  • Family
  • Fear
  • Frustration
  • God
  • Gospel of John
  • Gospel of Luke
  • Gratitude
  • Hiking
  • Holy Week
  • Hope
  • Jesus Christ
  • Leadership
  • Legacy
  • Lent
  • Marriage
  • Old Testament
  • Parenting
  • Patience
  • Perseverance
  • Praise
  • Prayer
  • Predestination
  • Prophet Isaiah
  • Psalms
  • Racism
  • Remembrance
  • Repentance
  • Rest
  • Sacraments
  • Science
  • Sin
  • Small town
  • Social media
  • Spiritual maturity
  • Suffering
  • Teenagers
  • Time
  • Trust
  • Truth
  • Uncategorized

Connect with MJ

Subscribe to Pastor MJ's Blog

Stay up-to-date with the latest posts delivered right to your inbox.

Join 402 other subscribers

Archives

Bible Verse of the Day

For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
Romans 5:19
DailyVerses.net
LaJunta Presbyterian Church

Copyright © 2023 Rev. Dr. MJ Romano · Site design and setup by The Design Diva · Log in