This past Sunday morning, I spent time binge-watching church. Yep, church. Not The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez or Love is Blind (never!). I binge watched church. I’d already recorded our service here in La Junta, after all, and here was my chance to see a bunch of my colleagues in action. 

I loved it. All the music, all the voices, all the styles. I watched worship happening in Texas, and Pennsylvania, and here in Colorado (twice). There was lots of talk of faith over fear, given the COVID-19 situation. There was a little bit of fumbling. I mean, really, who’s comfortable leading worship in front of an empty sanctuary? One preacher showed pictures of his recent mission trip. Another clearly hadn’t planned to preach and simply offered his thoughts on God’s goodness. Another preached on Nathaniel (brilliant!) and another on…I can’t actually remember what scripture the last one preached on. I was getting a little foggy by then.

Whatever the singers sang, whatever the preachers preached, I heard one thing over and over: God sees us. In different ways, at different times, the statement was there in all four services, and it struck me as incredibly moving.

Here’s my hunch:

I know God loves me. I know God is in control. 

God seeing me, though, means I’m known. My fears, my doubts, my panic, my misgiving, my anger, my distrust. All of it is known by this God who continues to love me and heal me anyway.

Our particular community is far enough removed (for now) from the pandemic to be conflicted. What do we do? Anything? How soon? Why? I’ve heard everything from, “It’s a hoax,” to “We’ve got to close up everything for two months.” We’ll have more clarity as the days pass, but, for now, I’m comforted that God sees all of us in our confusion, and He’ll prepare us for whatever comes.